17
Xia Mo's sister and that bald men, a few days left. They are just in town to see, eat bought a lot of wear and indifference look, nouveau riche attitude. Perhaps there are other purposes, such as their own sister to see what life on the outside too, is how to follow a man named Li Hsiao Ke suffering. take the time, sister Xiao Mo said, You're always a lot? , want to every corner of the room shot down, make some mark, the way to the summer and also took some foam. She was refused at first, the mood is very, Behind his hand and said: Yeah, I'm afraid the photo shoot. coax with a lie like, and finally she was willing to, and promised to take a serious and asked me to do my hair for a comb, and I said no, so good. she had in the house stamp stamp in the past, toss half the day, have not found a natural place to stand, and finally leaned to the door, exposing his face. I say to that? she said, ah, there we are.
I still keep the photo, red the film, not the kind of large size, into the drawer, or folder in the book pages, are possible. photos Xia Mo, hand to his door along with the other hand from behind by over exposing slightly curved fingers, just a good smile, just the right shy, the simple eyes, it can give the illusion that many. just smiled and looked behind, and his face expressed complete Tsang also of course, already had time can explain the apprehension. I remember my colleagues in the computer first glance, that this girl? plain strange. But after the said fine leaned closer look, as if old is not small.
the photos back Mo summer home to see, she just smiled, innocently, and said nothing. I do not know what put her to the heart. the day after dinner, she told me about her a few years ago when I first came in Changsha things that do not understand anything that would also wearing braids, walking on the road are full of curiosity to see what, would be could not help but Toutou Xiao. and then from the box with the small can in the photo a few recruited me, is small can the eve of graduation at the school two people shot. her arm Hsiao Ke hand, head to the small can ramp there, but only by the poor are always such body. each of them, even the mouth of laughter are looking for How many nuances not. Perhaps the reason that the young without it deliberately.
Xia Mo asked me if she used to be, is not it silly, she said it was turning photos, with the memories do not remember the original look like. I said: photo carefully into that box that he, as if afraid of those who initially put the best outside the memory a long time, will catch a cold.
then, Xia Mo said, , is absolutely necessary to a right. more, if not travel, overtime is often a matter, eleven, twelve to get home. Every time back, Mo is still up in summer, sometimes clothes, sometimes mopping the floor. In the past, she never stay up so late. I said: a. Also at the entrance station will not come in, do not speak. finally I stopped her, faces lit up her face, and said: realize that another year of winter is coming. In addition there are letters, envelopes containing a seal on the mouth, very thick. I said: nodded and said, , Xia Mo gave me a message, so if I see small can, just like small can talk to him think too much, no matter what kind of difficulties, she will adhere to. Xia Mo wrote Hsiao Ke's The letter, later vanished after the small can, I actually find small boxes can be read secretly. Xia Mo, said in the letter, Hsiao Ke, I love you.
arrived, with the small can contact him even a business trip to Hubei. he gave me a phone number of my colleagues, that put things to my colleagues on the line. pushed to the second day of the interview, I told him to dinner with colleagues, before we know small can run business has been changed to , and it is something recent, very sudden decision. leading the company does not agree, but also fail to beat him. after I explained that his small can, run the business of commission, great opportunity to make money, rather than sitting died as a monthly plan and only pay office. can imagine it, he has begun to worry, like a child afraid of dark, hard to run, want the night to reach his destination before the fall, not breathing.
But fate obviously opened a small can with the poor joke. For the second year in April, the business done, he was suddenly dismissed wind and water. On the reason, I get to the bottom to ask, Hsiao Ke cover tightly, reluctant to say anything, just tell me like a stall, because work out some mistakes. this is something.
winter, we do not know from the rush over the place, the whole city seems to have shuddered, as in the middle of the night think of the past. the day I go home after work to catch, in front of the stalls to eat a lot of roast beef, string, wind, co-beat look at the turbulent flame, I felt particularly happy , Rather, their special needs should feel happy. to call Mo summer, she was soon down. standing in the wind inside, to smile, ascribed to let others see through our meeting.
to meet a man in a little happy to be able to appreciate the time, he must desire to have a lover. a person's happiness, fell on my heart to, in fact, is the deepest loneliness. I can share with Xia Mo , but this share is not the same. I have two hugs as Yili, blew his breath on his lips, and then Xia Mo said, . I think she was a good girl heart, you have helped me to see her and the small can a lot of busy. Chen in the break up thing, never spoken of foam on the summer, but she should be feeling out of. on Chen in all, I deliberately do not know, it seems that I deliberately some fond memories of her. no love no hate to Qiannian, I do not know what is this, I forget what was.
go back on the road, after all, said Chen at. just upstairs, I jumped two fierce scraps, the corridor lights Zhen Liang, Xia Mo heard that , Mo did not dare utter a sound of summer. fear that she get me upset, I said: a nostalgic person? future, not the reluctant one, but feel bad was the idea of happiness are related to a person.
we most care about, is the mortality of the future, not the dead past.
next to the unit, just kidding very close to the relationship like a female colleague said, . . call me, say what activities the company is ready to be, let me take a look at the past to help her copy. Because it is night, empty office buildings in particular. a person take the elevator, not of someone humming a tune too Mighty impatient. into to the office, Gu Yi Luo is pointing to the table first takeaway, said: the company of two employees to do, changed several times, Gu Yi Luo was not satisfied.
me to dinner, sat across from watching Gu Yi Luo, holding pen constantly knock the desktop, thoughtful look. I said, her face. her hair hanging down, blocking the view. I looked up to see her, feel is a bit jittery. air-conditioned room, the kind of mechanized warmth, seem to a little less natural, as I tried to Gu Yi Luo from the body to find the kind of sustenance.
busy late night, had 12 points before a good job. I just rose from his chair, SMS bell rang, and Xia Mo said, ; matches where are you? how not to come back? Hsiao Ke her love, the perfect very carefully, like holding a dream, through the day and night, sun and rain, looked straight ahead.
take care of my office phone memory allocated Luo Xia Mo phone. I said: ; just hang up, and stood to listen to my downstairs Gu Yi Luo asked, file, and then casually said, stones. She drove his car very fast. the car without music, my ears hear the wind across the glass. the outside world, such as infant sleep quiet, transparent whole body.
I've been thinking small can and Xia Mo, want them to love, and this worried look in such a rush and busy night. Now and then talk about their stories to me, I would say it was a dream, but I've never seen fireworks do not dream of eating, it seems to Since we are not familiar with the place.
the next period of time, besides busy work, is busy looking for Luo Yi Gu. Although no direct confession, but the word is not the same as before. Of course, this not the same as it is only since I thought it. a lot of things are not OK, even I do not know how many like her. people do not know is that my source of courage is very awkward. before I had the feeling that Gu Yi Luo have a favorable impression on the small can, it is possible that she like the rest of us, but also not so unattainable. just like Bale.
back every day, if the foam still up in summer, she will be happy Britain Britain ran over to ask me, said: ! reported the case to report to me. talk to me, I am confused'll move the message to send, the message to the care given by Luo Yi Xiao Ke. Xiaoke asked what I was not chasing girls, I deny Diego mouth.
days , Hsiao Ke travel to Changsha, in the house some days. That is the weekend, summer and Mo do not work, I just shift holiday, we went to the market to buy a lot of dishes, cook dinner together. three small sitting bench, Wai selected dishes in a circle, close together, like sharing a secret. Little can rub shoulders rub Xia Mo, said: looked again Hsiao Ke, said: arm rub rub the strands of hair hanging down his forehead, smiled and said, , said: the cinema. but then did not go into, because no empty Gu Yi Luo children. After dinner, the summer burn foam shampoo water to small can. toilet already small, two extraordinary in, have not turned around fight. Xia Mo help small can take off your coat, surrounded Zhang dry towel, and then said, I do not know the brand, put in a small shop selling the kind, should belong to counterfeit. perhaps for this reason, her blonde hair is always the feeling when the hair or wash your hair, will be out a lot. She often is with this in many ways it seems unreasonable RBI of life. For example, I bought from the fruit not seen her, and not not like it. One time I bought some pears back, and she especially loves eat, but eat one time will be cut, and handed me and said: . Xia Mo said, listen to? never had. This is the first time I heard the small can sing and is the only one. singing Leslie Cheung's an outstanding warmth, higher than our imagination, higher than the embrace of all airtight, and the vicissitudes of the nestling things.
18
street, the smell of roasted sweet potatoes float, mixed in the bitter cold wind , as some can not tell the name of the small petals in each corner to our surprise. stores began selling the big red lanterns, the joy of color, the way good luck, but in being bought before they hung high on, so lonely.
Xia Mo I bicycle along the road has been working away. It was a cloudy, rain, wind but it is stubborn. we wear thick clothes, wearing gloves, the Department scarves tight, when to smile, like most of the two teenagers running away from home, so the heart without scruple, and then point gloat.
Xia Mo pointed out to me and said: matches, those lanterns, so beautiful. low-lanterns, said that in fact do not buy, and we see two minutes walk, remember them the way to the heart to go further than happy to watch them every day.
I suddenly do not know how to do not disturb she was the favorite, but more and more aware, she placed many hearts a vision of a certain security, life, longing for the future, even to a small lantern, desire a beautiful hairpin. She up their own construction of a fairy tale world, those hopes carved deeper than thought.
She told me that she saved 4,000 dollars carrying a small can. She asked me for her privacy, she said other day need money, together showed small can. she could not conceal his excitement asked me to small can such a big surprise, Hsiao Ke would not be particularly happy, will not praise her abilities? she spoke to me , I really can not imagine where in the secular mere blur how can a girl so well preserved body, like a mountain hiding in the green plants, is not stained Qian Chen.
this day we went to a hundred letters Shoes City. Xia Mo to buy shoes, a pair of semi-high heels on her feet, the other day it rains, water can toe. I look at the door cycling, did not go. She first entered the door, and folded back. I said, Each season can be. . she was not going one's life, she is intended to a crawl in love. ride the way home, she told me that last night she was dreaming, dreaming of a small can from behind the clothes to her disclosure , and then covered her eyes again. She said: want small can get married. The phone rang, she picked up the look, but also down, not connected, unhappy face. I hold clothes through the living room, her cell phone rang again, she looked again picked up, then down or not connected, the beginning, some angry. I said: Ko Chun is the man who called play. Even today, this man so I have some baffled. summer of his struggle has shown the kind of foam patience, I could not help him find the exact answer. Xia Mo looked at the ringing keep the phone, anxious to say, phone number to change it. , and in the normal, summer foam at home, see how he did not seem to call from harassment. so even now, taken the trouble to call his cell phone Xia Mo, I began to think he could at this time only some of disgusting. but the summer Mo tension, flawless and fear, I fear many more faint.
Xia Mo said, in fact, to Changsha, in her second year to know Gao. These are the small can not know. Ko Chun in the exhibition was opened small restaurants line the other side, it did six months of summer foam to waiter, then resigned to go to attend a computer training course, then there are the school's print shop to the small can find a copy live a little better treatment.
period, two people can not be met until college Hsiao Ke, Xiao Mo Qijudongzhan there also will be a company to do data entry clerk. This time Gao has been considered developed, open house advertising agency, and his advertising company where the company happens to foam with some of the summer business.
life and happiness in the catastrophe in fact, is squarely in the sights go. Xia Mo said to me, matches, Changsha is so big, they separated for so long, how do I even met him? how could this be? ; Xia Mo alert looked up at me and said: ; perhaps you do not know? middle of the night to send text messages to her, she always will not look directly deleted. She said she saw him text messages and phone calls to my heart to tears. Gao also said the threat to her wildly, can not receive phone calls, but not allowed to hang up, also not allowed to shut down, not allowed to change numbers, or to find someone to beat Li Xiao Ke.
vexatious indeed a man. at least at the time, if he stood in front of, and I punched his nose will be wielded. So later, when the summer Mo told me that she left the small can is ready to marry the man Gao, I washed her hair on fire. how can I say? not you marry? how you can marry him? then accidentally broke a cup.
I remember the pieces scattered on the ground looks like, so innocent, no one can not turn a blind eye to the crack pain. I was always afraid something was broken saw , a teacup, a glass, high-hanging down from the high and the time, then little, then had nothing to do, that moment is not to be ignored fission.
afternoon, the landlord comes and collects rent, After I came to Changsha, which is the first time. At that time I was reading a magazine in bed nest, knock on the door came a voice, I stand up out of bed, is the living room to pack the foam has been the first to open the door in summer. the landlord came in smiling started did not notice me, and craned his neck toward the Xia Mo said, Her smile was so admirable, though some leave, at least in the pure in their own, a kind of pampered leisure and ease. her stamp to the kitchen and the bathroom was a passage point of view, turned around only to find me, so smile more warmly, and the handle of a Young at me and said, and do not know what to say, Oh aunt called out, laughing. Xia Mo smooth things over, saying that, yes, aunt, matches him off today, do not travel. Xia Mo was explained to me, I know, in fact, the landlord did not know I had left almost two years in Changsha. During this time, the landlord collect rent over time, asked me, Xia Mo would say that I a business trip.
young people renting in the city, very few Some people live in a place that is four to five years of a bar. here from my work place is not close to the summer of foam unit to further, I had mentioned another place to live, but Mo said that this summer is fine, no need for , it has been lived. Now think about it, the insistence on this old house, much like the small can and Xia Mo love, in the end still have to Tizhexingli leave everything on and then could not bear to say goodbye, to bear down when sense of drift that covered soles of the feet.
to the rent money, I joked with the landlord said, smile wrinkled, with daisy-like flowers, said: , in the city, we need to keep moving, like a page to open book, read a history, this is the youth, keep the possibilities, laughter and tears, and when one day we finally moved into their own Waterloo, youth will be over. not the end, is the heart of the turmoil, not drifting to the sense of loss.
time I, my mind there is always a strange idea, to know what your life seems a bit Regardless of the mean. although working hard, very hard to save money, but could not find direction, think about the future have all become'm lost. there is no love, no ideals, the only clear thing is, I do want to help Xia Mo I can do everything. I do not love her. so that is not rejected or deliberately put a negative attitude, the kind of feelings for her, not like or do not like can be used to summarize the. perhaps it is pity, as in met a beautiful child on the street, the road further away, we must take her back home.
Then one time I order something, pulls out a diary before, are written with Chen at the point point drops to record those who had restless real and fantasy. that the diary quickly finished, leaving only a small few pages. I was the last top of the page, write the date, weather, and then a short sentence if nothing to do with Chen on. I said if I was rich, I'll buy a house, so soon to marry Xiao Ke Xia Mo. Now thinking about it, much like an unknown joke.
night meal, Xia Mo to small can a telephone call, telling small can buy yourself a pair of shoes, with the former pair, is semi-high-heeled, but the color a little deeper. that the phone, she was in the living room walk around the circle. I heard her say, I wear it again next time you come back to do it. Xiao Mo talking and pay attention to speak to her face, like watching a movie they like, fear of every detail, even if in fact the theme for this detail does not matter. and Xia Mo gave me the phone, said: , you had better tell you a little something. soon find my mother. Speaking of my mother's any news, night after night to think she would not sleep. from knowing what he said to call your cell phone, etc. Tell me the next time to return to Changsha.
time in Guangzhou, Yang Yanming Ming told me, Hsiao Ke's mother is dead. If it is true, it is now How small can say what is the meaning? contrast, I believe, Yan said. Although return to Changsha after they contacted did not talk to Yang Yan, but she felt there was a sincere woman, not easily lie, will not easily joke. Actually not tell why, I seem to always trying to get myself to forget small can have a missing mother, forget about a man named Yang Yan in Guangzhou woman. I do not know that he is deliberately want to heart for the small can retain the most intact the impression, or fear for them when they remember the summer of foam worried glimmer as if there are numerous signs of entrenched reclaim unknown.
hung up, I give small can send a text message told him to first do a good job, a home security to make more money earlier, which also bear a number, do not then abruptly ran out to find his mother. He said he knew, after all, has still not sure. hearing him say, I was assured that point, and wearing a jacket, change of shoes and ready to go. I When the evening about nine at night Gu Yi Luo Hunan and Guangdong to the south entrance of the shop porridge porridge.
just down to the ceiling to Xia Mo loudly heard me open the window and said: ; She said: forget to say drink, Gu Yi Luo what clothes to wear, we pass through those streets and alleys, each had what the eyes cross, all of these, I have not a bit the next day impression. This is the most common, but One night, the reason I remember that because I talk with the care of the Gao Yi Luo. She was angry with me, saying how can such a man? bullying is not?
to day care, said Luo Yi to look for Gao, which is why I had the idea first. I called back and asked to Gao Xia Mo phone, she at first refused, saying sheepishly matches you want to do it? his verbal skills, explains a lot, of course, lied, Xia Mo finally gave me the number reported. Finally, very safe to say that a match can not say you know me, okay?
care of when to begin looking for Luo Yi Gao , I never know. just remember this winter had finished, I asked her if a lot of times, each time she said, busy these days to say.
no snow this winter, unlike in previous years, even as cold. Gu Gao Yi Luo looking for this thing drag on, is the only winter I think this is a bit long number of reasons. I thought to myself something to look forward, on the small can and the foam has also been looking forward to summer. In the night When standing at the window looked across the dimly lit lights, and even smiled. that smile is a lie.
smile and love, I've seen, the most beautiful lies, to deceive the United States to our own.
19
the New Year. holiday home that day, a sunny day. in the winter sun, according to the body, always soft texture. small can not have Changsha, Xia Mo floor under a piece of me . She told me that she homesick, like father and mother, and sister. However, she had thought of no better go back. small decisions, like a long-lasting war against Japan. She tightened eyebrows, sip a sip lips, said: can go back before, so a long time, never willing to tell the family has small can exist. In her concept, normal love, seem awkward pieces of things, to withhold the hidden. was because his mother started urged her to find a friend, after a period of time, she went to see the parents brought small can. but this show is not a pleasant confession. parents oppose her more than ever worried about small can.
Later she told me said she always to small can not be replaced in her heart, to measure their own weight of the small can. She thought the feelings are reciprocal, give and get, put scales at both ends, can be called a balance of . she was afraid of losing small can, than fear of losing oneself. she thought, small can be is the same.
small can graduate before the winter are staying in school for the summer holidays, Chinese New Year just like the students also did not go back together, the frame mouth large pot to eat. After graduation, every year is, he even found a companion are rare. Xia Mo will return to a home almost a year, is small can not bear to let her stay with. Therefore the front those years, Hsiao Ke a person, always split over the most lonely feeling. a person to eat dinner, a man in the New Year's Eve night, filled to visit, do not know where to go.
good this year, finally some have foam around the summer, would not have looked at other people's lanterns, watching the lively lights on the window, just know tears, forget the blink of an eye.
Nianye ...
